My Story…My Life
Like all of you, I have been on a convoluted, messy, joyful, fruitful, incredible journey called life. Our soul path is not a straight line, but a gorgeous winding path unique to us as individuals.
Though we may inspire and be inspired by others, no one else’s path will ever be quite the same as yours. Your path will be as multi-faceted and as unique as you.
I spent my childhood and part of my adult life feeling helpless and overwhelmed by the chaos of the world. Like many of you, all my life I trembled upon hearing, yet again “you are too sensitive”. Can we please once and for all debunk this one? There is no such thing as too sensitive.
Too numb, yes! Too sensitive, never!
Being sensitive is simply a way of processing and experiencing the seen and unseen world, consciously or subconsciously. I experience things very acutely and sometimes, intensely. Being sensitive and living happily and healthfully in the world does require a shift in lifestyle, strategies, practices and skill sets in order to not fall asleep in avoidance, defend against, turn away from or crumble into the sheer rawness that living on the earth plane offers.
Once we empaths get the hang of it, watch out, because miracles abound, and the sensitive people of the world become both the strength and tenderness that the heart of this dynamic world needs. Imagine a world full of sensitive beings who are not only honored for their uniqueness but most importantly honor themselves for and through their gifts. This in no small way makes my heart explode with happiness.
The truth is, we are all sensitive.
It is the degree of how asleep or awake we are to this earthly existence that will determine how brightly we can shine our light and really commit to serving and sharing ourselves with humanity. I am here to guide, support and give evidence that there is another way to live. There is an existence of awake awareness that opens us to our brilliant wholeness.
Today, one of the greatest compliments I can think of is being told I am sensitive!
The first several years of my professional life as a Physical Therapist, I physically ached right along with my patients. Initially, I had no idea I was absorbing the pain and suffering of others. I began to notice some patterns and it all became a bit clearer. I began to notice that I would leave work at the end of the day with the very same set of symptoms my patients had, such as shoulder pain or jaw pain, or headaches while these were not typical symptoms in my body. Many days it was not uncommon for me to treat 5 shoulder patients and then go home with shoulder pain. Odd as it seemed then, it all began to make sense. As the years passed and I opened my awareness, it became clear to me that I needed to shift if I was to be able to continue to be of service offering my gifts to the world.
What I didn’t know was how to shift
I tried things like after every patient I would wash my hands visualizing a washing away of them and disconnecting from them. This was helpful, but back in those days, I was seeing 20 patients a day and the intensity in which my body absorbed their pain and discomfort was compounding.
I knew I couldn’t continue taking on the pain and suffering of my patients or the world. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t supportive of me. It took a toll on me in every way possible: my marriage, my parenting, my career, my family life, my mental and emotional health and most importantly my spiritual health.
At the time, I had no concept of internal peace and no skill in centering myself. I felt controlled by other people’s expectations of me and I had no idea who I was in the big messy world.
Flashback to where it all began…
I grew up in a small town in the Midwest coming from a large Catholic family. There were lots of rules and doctrines for me to live by, which meant heavy-duty expectations. I rarely lived up to these expectations, but as a born people pleaser, I did try.
I was a very sick youngster. I either had bronchitis, pneumonia or tonsillitis, which kept me at home, out of school, as well as in and out of the hospital, so that I could breathe. I probably missed more school than legally allowed to pass to the next grade. I think it was then that I really felt a trapped and helpless sickness. Truly this was my pain.
Back in the 70s, sick at home much of the time, I watched a ton of TV. Many times, it was all I felt up to. Back then, and honestly still today, things gripped my heart with such intensity that I became obsessed. I loved Romance novels, Soap Operas, and Westerns. I loved stories of people, their trials and their triumphs.
Another such obsession was The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon dating back to the mid-’70s. Regardless of being so young, I stayed up watching all night long so moved by the stories. I could not pull myself away. I was touched by the experiences of people who suffered from MD. I felt their pain and suffering on a very deep level.
This was my first memory of taking on the pain and suffering of others.
In no way was my chronic childhood illness close to what the individuals on the telethon spoke of in their personal testimonials, but I did feel a certain kinship of not being completely able to engage consistently in life with normalcy.
Yet, I did eventually engage in life with seeming normalcy. I grew out of this chronic sickness and grew older. I graduated from high school and left my small town to go to college.
Phase one of the wake up began…
Amazing things happened. I began to see, feel, and think as an individual. It was as though I’d been let out of my cage, and I spread my wings wide. It was glorious, very messy and so much fun! What a phenomenal gift, to begin to discover who we are.
One day I skipped class to watch my favorite soap opera. Yep, I still loved my soaps and now I had a group of friends that when possible we gathered over lunch to watch our favorites…The Young and The Restless and General Hospital. Do you remember it? Everyone loved Luke and Laura back in the ’80s. My favorite character was Leslie, Laura’s mom. She was so patient, such a nice person, though her life was insanely dramatic. She was a physical therapist and she taught people how to walk.
Why, what, and how I still truly do not understand, but from that time one the seed had been planted and I knew that I wanted to be a physical therapist and teach people how to walk.
I know, I know, not a very sexy or glamorous call to my soul path but I can tell you this, from that time on I was dialed in. It really does go to show the lengths that Spirit will go to communicate your destiny, to message you and remind you of why you’re here on earth and a means in which to carry out your gifts.
I worked very hard at Iowa State University to get perfect grades and have a litany of volunteer experiences as was required to get into most, if not all, PT Masters programs. These programs were insanely competitive and statistically speaking, it was not probable that I would attain my goal. Often, I felt as though I was out of my mind and out of my league for pursuing this dream of mine to help people walk. Though those thoughts wafted through my mind, I did not let them linger there for long.
I geeked out, I must admit. The world of academia blew my mind. For the first time in my life, I felt filled up and alive as knowledge was dumped into my brain. It was empowering and liberating.
My major was psychology, but I fell in love with Zoology. My favorite class was Comparative Chordate Anatomy. I loved it then and I love it now…pondering structure, function & evolution. And now not just on a physical level, but on a soul level. It absolutely fascinates me and is still one of my greatest passions…structure, function, and evolution of the soul!
There were those in my life who strongly verbalized doubts of my plan — well-meaning friends and family, and even my advisor at school. She told me I would never make it into a PT program and that I was wasting my time. At the time this infuriated me.
This discouragement may have been the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. As someone who hates to hear that I can’t do something, it fueled my fire as nothing else could have.
While in undergrad I worked in a group home for adults who had both mental and physical challenges. I worked overnights and cleaned during the day to get in as many hours as I could without missing classes. This was taxing; however, it was the first time in my life that I felt empowered to help. I helped them communicate, dress, eat, bathe, walk, and play.
It was incredibly empowering and meaningful and created buoyancy to my academic life. It reminded why I was working so hard.
I am the type of person that once I decide to do something, I am all in and I laser my focus. There have been a few times in my life where despite good advice I played the game my way making some risky decisions that seemed precarious and perhaps downright wrong in the eyes of many. Looking back the clarity I had was distinct and decisive and truly led me in the right direction.
I knew then without a doubt the exact school I wanted to attend. It was an Osteopathic university in Des Moines, Iowa. It was recommended that I apply to several schools across the country to improve my chances of getting into a PT program. Despite widespread wisdom, I did not apply to many. I applied to two. I did not get into either one of them in my first year.
I spent the next year working in a major hospital to get the most experience possible as well as learning from some of the best PT’s I have ever known. The next fall I applied to one school. I interviewed and got accepted into the one and only PT program I ever wanted to attend.
I spent the next two years working hard and playing hard with some of my favorite people in the world. Here I met and fell in love with my future husband, Ed Deboo. We graduated from PT school and became traveling therapists for about 2 1/2 years. Venturing from place to place, we worked and traveled to different regions of the country for a few months at a time.
After our traveling shenanigans, we got married and moved to Ed’s home state in the Pacific Northwest.
For over two decades I worked with children, teaching them how to walk, how to be in the world in their own skin, how to maximize their physical potential; showing them, reminding them, and drawing out of them the very best of who they were and what they had to offer the world. My job as I saw it was to remind them of who they came here to be, to be proud of who they were and to see their value, worthiness, and their uniqueness. Yes, it was about physically walking, but it was also about walking their journey with a sense of wholeness.
I now work as an Energy Intuitive and Meditation Instructor. My passion still is to teach people how to walk their journey, to fulfill their heart’s desires living their best lives, being their best selves.
To this day my husband and I still practice together. We’ve been through all the ups and downs of partnership. We’ve owned our own practice, owned real estate and been in the medical and insurance industries for 25 years.
We’ve also raised three incredible kids! Logan is 20 years old and attends the University of British Columbia in Vancouver BC, Owen is 17, preparing to graduate from high school and Hope is 14, preparing to enter high school.
These three wonders have been, and continue to be, my greatest teachers, each guiding me in their own unique way.
Over the years I’ve had the pleasure of learning from outstanding teachers. Some have taught me through contrast. Some have taught me through love. All have left an indelible print on my spirit.
Life has a charming way of providing us
with opportunities to give back to others.
As a PT I have spent years mastering knowledge of the science of the body, physiology and the nervous system. I have integrated this science into my personal practice of breath & meditation to bring some stability and centeredness to my life. I have come to understand Energy Medicine and the effects of meditation on the body, mind, and spirit. I apply this knowledge in my daily practice, and I teach others to do the same.
These: Breath, Meditation, Energy Medicine & Sound…would it sound dramatic if I said these have saved my life? If so, then let’s just say, they have transformed me! I have benefitted from all of these on a deeply personal and spiritual level. Likewise, I offer these gifts to others.
Through the years it all came together for me in a lovely way, with so many, ‘Aha’ moments…struggles, moments of joy, angst, heartache, hard work and happiness. I am no stranger to the challenges of being an intuitive empath.
It can be a chaotic and frenetic world and it can feel very much like being battered by the incoming and outgoing tides of life. We, humans, are notorious overthinkers and learn to be under feelers. We reflexively dissolve into the past and experience paralyzing anxiety when we cannot find our center.
It is at these times that we must get back to the basics of breath, meditation, and living from the inside out so that we may thrive once again. This is the practice. Coming back over and over again, to the center of who we are. This is being human. This is the practice through which we access our best self, living our best life. Not the perfect life, but the best life… distilled into the moments.
Now at fifty years old, I am healthier and happier than I’ve ever been in my life and what a profound season of life it is! I have practices, tools, strategies, and a lifestyle that works well for me and I have had the great fortune of guiding many others.
I have a daily routine that supports my sensitive, empathic self. I’ve shifted my eating to support my own inherent metabolic needs. I sleep longer, better and deeper than ever before. As it was when I was younger, I still love to read and watch movies, but only those that serve me, and nurture (preferably PBS Masterpiece theatre…I know, I know, but I love a great adventurous historical fiction romance!)
I set time and energy boundaries. I make good choices for me that support all the beautiful relationships in my life and a love for my brilliant career.
I no longer consider myself anxious… I still have difficult moments. I have episodes of anxiety, yes! I have moments where perfection wants to set in, I have times of impatience and episodes of being overcome by the dynamics of life. But always, I’m empowered, full of hope and inspiration. This was not so years ago when I felt stressed, unhappy, and unhealthy on all levels.
I’ve found peace. After all, challenging moments need not become challenging hours, days, or even years. They are moments, they are episodes and they need not define our character.
My transformation has touched every aspect of my life, and it allows me to help others transform as well. I have no cookie cutter formula for you; nothing is a one-size-fits-all. Yet I’m very good at guiding people to find the best in themselves, to live their best lives and to honor themselves.
The truth is that if you do not create change, your life will remain the same. Lifestyle changes are never a quick fix. It is a practice, but believe me, you can transform and find health and happiness along the way.
Moment by moment I will guide you to your most empowered and best self, we tend to your physical health and well-being.
I will teach you to align and thrive from the inside out. Without much effort at all, this internal peace creates external peace in your personal relationships, your career, your community and in the world as a whole.
Are you ready to transform too?